Self esteem and Motivation. I have the ability to write well and to learn new things but I also have a major problem. I can't seem to motivate myself into getting on and doing these things.
I start off with the best intentions and believing I can do things but when it gets down to putting theory into practice I bum out. I don't understand why.
Why???? Maybe because I am afraid to make a mess of things, maybe because I don't think I am good enough and maybe I am afraid to try because I believe I will fail. I look at websites and programs and think 'that's great' and will sign up to get the information.. But that's as far as it goes, I don't take the next step. Why??? Maybe because I think that it might be a scam and so can't waste money on it, maybe because someone else has tried it and it never worked for them, maybe I am just a woos and think I'd better leave it alone. I don't know why.
I am on an Invalids Benefit so there is no money to put into different schemes because I wont take the money away from the family. I will enter competitions and do things that cost nothing to do or maybe just the cost of postage, but that's not going to get me anywhere is it. So maybe it's just lack of motivation or an unwillingness to take a chance. Perhaps it is a lack of confidence in myself.
I write poetry and have had many comments about my writing but once again I wont take the initiative to get my work out there to be seen. Why????? Maybe it's because I don't want to succeed because I am afraid to try. I don't want to get disappointed and I don't want to let others down.
HUGZ from Kitten1954
[question posted by kitten1954]
responses and comments:
What a thought-provoking discussion you have started here. I think you have already gone quite far with myLot, so you do at least proceed in some directions. I don't blame you for not sending money to some things, because they might be scams. [kykidd]
I enjoy mylot a lot and I have made so many great friends here, that's what keeps me coming back. Perhaps too it is the fact of the interaction and feedback that we give each other that makes mylot as wonderful as it is. Thank you for responding to my discussion, I wonder how many other people are out there who feel the same way. I think I like mylot too because it is somewhere I can air my thoughts about life's issues and not feel as though I have to answer to anyone. Other readers may comment on what I write and have their own opinions, they share them but ultimately it is up to me whether I take them on board or not. This is such a wonderful place to come to and it provides us with so much. Friendship, company, compassion and understanding. Thank you for being part of mylot. HUGZ from Kitten1954 [kitten1954]
If you can put it down here where it will be seen you can put it into the world where it will be seem. Fear nothing. You can do it. Put it out there so your friends here can brag about knowing you. [pastorkayte]
Thanks, look out for writings by Kitten1954. When you see it you will know it is me and you will be able to have a chuckle to yourself knowing that you gave me gentle shove in the right direction. Thanks from Kitten1954 and of course HUGZ [kitten1954]
you have everything you need. i am going to tell you like the upper level marketers were telling me when i first started out just do it because you are going to make mistakes they did but with you just getting started you know that you have accomplished alot.Me for instance i haven't taken the time to build my website but i do pretty good and you can to not that i have the fear and you shouldn't either think of why you come to mylot you are doing what you want just take it to the next level. I can't post a link here but I have some friends that would be glad to help you and you would be able to actually communicate with them and it is free to join ,plus they would help you to succeed in your business I am not trying to advertise but sometimes we all need a little push to take the next step.If you didn't have self esteem and motivation you would not have asked your question. [Residual]
Thank you for the invitation to join your friends, I would love to meet them and become a member of the group. Can you please send me a message with contact details. (This came to my mind just after I pushed the submit button so that's why it is tagged on as an extra) HUGZ from Kitten1954 [kitten1954]
Dont be afraid my friend that will be normal if you get mess, if you will not face such mess thing you will not be a great writer, we all start in mess but take my word you will be a great writer just think positive and go on forward you will reach all what you dream for. [Ohara_1983]
Thank you my friend. I needed a good boost today and you have provided it for me. I have got to get back to my writing so look out for stuff by Kitten1954 and give yourself a pat on the back for giving me the inspiration I needed. HUGZ from Kitten1954 [kitten1954]
Sometimes it doesn't matter how good you are/could be at something, it will be a matter of self esteem. I used to fins myself doing the same as you, starting something and then thinking I can't do this any more or feeling that I'm wasting my time. I think for some people, there is that element of wanting an immediate reward rather than persevering anyway no matter what. I have now decided that I will only take on 3 things at once! I think that can sometimes be a problem too, so many things to learn about to distract us from that last project we haven't finished. So what I have done is decided on a few things which I will stick to so if I get bored, I will only go back to one of those few things rather than starting a new project. I set myself a goal to succeed in one project before undertaking any more. It is very hard to stick to something, especially if you think it is not working out very well. So what you need to do is tell yourself that you can do it and when you feel you're not getting anywhere, you need to remind yourself that you have to put in all the effort for a successful end result and whatever you do will help you and your family in the long term. That sense of self esteem will come when you complete a project, it won't happen if you give up at the first sign of trouble. [pumpkinjam]
Yea, thanks for responding to my discussion. I am starting to make headway again now, just needed a shove in the right direction. HUGZ from Kitten1954 [kitten1954]
First comes self esteem and the motivation will just follow.If you could work on your self esteen and build confidence in yourself then you'll go for it win or lose and you'll take the risk and give it your best shot. [janisspaggiari59]
hi......i find a lot of me in you....i am a person who wants to do everything but dont hav the courage to go ahead and do it......so wenever a situation arises i just dont think wat may happen if i take a particular decision or else something bad might happen because of me,......i just go and do it......and by doing this i get a satifaction that atleast i did something .......no matter if i committed a mistake......and moreover i take it as a learning experience.......this logic worked for me......hopefully it will work for u too......... [ashsumi]
Seem like a difficult situation. But I think it is all up to you. As long as you believe you can do it then definitely you can do it. It doesn't matter how many times you stumbled or how many times you failed. If you can recall Einstein, he found 1001 ways to create a light bulb, of that 1001 ways, only 1 work. A journey to a thousand miles begins with a single step. So take that step now and I'm sure it will bring you to success! [jpso138]
yeah i guess so..but i think you lack somebody to support you morally or whatever so that you got some inspiration to pursue or prove something about yourself that you really can do better done anyone..sometimes im like that..always left things undone.. [vanities]
I think for me it would be self realization and that need to fit in with others, im still having trouble asking myself what to do next after i make a mistake with my decisions, and it is kind of hard to push yourself just to be with another person..... [damseldee]
Hi kitten1954! I do agree with you that self esteem and motivation are very hard to find. You really have to believe in yourself, believe in the work you are doing and to keep that fire in your heart burning. Very difficult especially when you fear what lies ahead and the failure that might befall your endeavor. However, we have a saying try and try until you succeed. I am an achiever at the same time a quitter too. I am very passionate with my projects and will see it through until I find myself drained with all the energy I have put into it. I will quit when I know it is a hopeless case. I failed more times than I have succeeded. I hurt when I fail. It affects me greatly and it really puts me down. However, I wouldn't stop..I will just recharged and then try again, maybe in other ways or in other projects but I know that I won't give up however blurry the future may seem to be. Sometimes, it takes me a few hours, or sometimes months before I get to be positive with myself again. Just take Thomas Edison's story. he tried a thousand times before he perfected his light bulb. I guess, we both can learn from him. Good luck and I hope and pray that we will both have the strength and courage to hold on to our dreams and to pursue them. And always remember to believe in yourself and in your dreams! Take care and have a nice day! :) [faith210]
that would be socks you never find them once they get into the wash. [forge_t]
Oh boy, I am the very same as you. I have all good intentions of following thorugh on something I start and then I lose interest. I am also afraid of paying money for something and then getting scammed. I have been scammed a few times and I had to do a lot of begging to get out of them. I have signed a contract just over a year ago, to sell satilite dishes over the internet and it cost me $29.95 a month to do this. I got sucked into it and after about 4 months I talked to the manager and he finally let me out of the contract. So now I am leary to pay for any kind of work because I am afraid to get scammed. By the way, I never sold a single satellite system so I never made a penny for it. I start posting in mylot with the intentions of making at least 50 postings that day, but I am lucky if I end up doing 10. I lose interest too easily after reading about 5 emails that I can't respond to. I need to go over my friends list and delete a bunch of them, that they write discussions that I have no interest in. I am wasting too much time just reading here in mylot and not posting and earning. Don't worry, I won't delete you because you write discussions I can relate to. [chrislotz]
Thanks for the advice my friend. It is difficult to keep on going when you are constantly forced into a corner. But good friends like yourself are inspiring. HUGZ from Kitten1954 [kitten1954]